"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and once it has done so, he/she will have to accept that his life will be radically changed." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I thought I lost my best friend today.

I'm scared.  Really, really scared.  Here's the quick and crazy version of why. 

Lux met the end of his days this morning.  A heart breaking decision, no doubt.  What a fortunate horse to have the life he had.  

Tyler had his spring vaccines this morning.  I arrived a bit later and took him out for some grass.  He was staying in so he could be clean for the little girl coming to test him out this afternoon.  I put TRose in the crossties like I always do.  Went and cleaned his stall after grooming him.  TYLER COULD NOT WALK TO HIS STALL.  He couldn't move his hind end.  It was falling one way and he couldn't put weight on his right hind.  I got him into Romie's stall because I thought he was going down.  Tyler kept nudging for treats but he was losing his balance. 

I immediately had Gale and Pam helping me sort him out.  I called the vet back and then called Cindy.  And yes, I was crying.  I was terrified.  I thought of the worst.  What had happened? What did I do wrong? Why is this happening to my horse?  Did I cause this?

Tyler was upright on his own for a bit.  Then he started to sway and rock and stagger around the stall.  Tyler was using the wall to stay up  He got a huge dose of steroids.  Then he fell.  My heart shattered after it stopped.  I was watching the most awful thing.  I could see Tyler start to panic as he realized he was losing control.  He was asking for help the best he could.  All I could do was stand outside his stall and hyperventilate and cry.  Thank goodness for all the supportive people around.  Gale told me I had to be strong for him and that Tyler had to hear me tell him he was ok.

Cindy got the truck and trailer once Tyler was cleared for New Bolton.  New Bolton is one of the best equine facilities in the US and at less than 2 hours away, how can you not utilize it?  Tyler was tranquilized and then will great help from everyone, he safely loaded onto the trailer.  

My dad was at the barn right before we left.  Yes, I'm still his little girl and needed a good cry on his shoulder.  He sent us on our way and told me to get all my options before doing anything.  Yes, I did ask the vet before we left if I should even put Tyler on the trailer.  I thought the worst at that point and did not want to make that decision.  Erin told me to give him a chance and so we did.

Thank you to everyone who checked in during the drive.  I love you all and deeply appreciate your concern for us.  

Cindy drove Tyler carefully to NBC.  He looked much better when we got there.  Well, he was standing on all 4 legs and didn't look like Bambi on ice like he did 2 hours ago.  I was so relieved.  He got off the trailer ok and was put in his isolation stall.  Since NBC has several possible causes, they thought it safest to isolate him.  I won't be able to see him again until he's cleared.

They explained all the options to me.  They also explained we may never know what caused this or what exactly the problem is.  There are lots of blood tests and a spinal tap on order.  The first spinal tap today did not produce fluid so there will be another one tomorrow.  

The NBC vet called me tonight and said that he isn't cured but he is doing well for what he is going through.  That's my Tyler!  He is strong and determined.

I had some other phone calls tonight that I didn't enjoy but had to be made.  There was a lot of options talk.  I feel like I have a lot of options no matter what the results are.  Of course, I only want him home and out in the pasture covered in mud and eating to his heart's content. 

Gah, there's more to all this but I'm tired of crying today.  I'm still scared for Tyler.  His situation hasn't totally sunk in yet.  I hope Tyler knows that I am doing everything I can for him.  He's my best friend and I will do right by him.  

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